Submitted by Editor
Today at approximately 5pm WeirdosXxXx Correspondent Boss Baller a.k.a. R Dubb a.k.a. Uncle Rico received an important phone call.
The call came at approximately 5pm on a gorgeous South Jersey Sunday following a weekly meeting (and tuxedo fitting) with WeirdosXxXx.com advisors XixdOUGHNUTsxiX and MixedWhiteBoy.
After a P.J. Wheelihans lunch, we headed back to Echo Base to review the affairs of the week which included plans for the Mayweather/ McGregor fight next weekend as well as some tentative plans for a New York Supreme Store trip. We just finished watching the Kill Bill Movies and decided to break the fellowship. The day even had an impact on the ceaseless energy that Boss Baller emits like that of a hydro-electric power plant.
I stepped out of the quiet suburban solitude and into the late-afternoon August Sun and prepared my mind for the sixty-mile drive back home and the chaos of “Shore Traffic”. As I put the key in the ignition, my “gamer’s eyes” caught the motion of R Dubb’s front door swinging open wildly from across the street. The hydro-power was back in his step as he bounded down his manicured front yard toward his twin-turbo-powered grocery-getter.
The call was from the GameStop where Boss Baller earns enough Power-Up Rewards points to buy small countries in South America. He had already hit his remote-starter and by the time I ignited the Toyota V8 sitting in 3 feet in front of me, Boss Baller was in his vehicle and shouted “THE PRE-ORDER IS RELEASED! GAMESTOP JUST CALLED ME!”
We tore the pavement up with a combined 710 foot pounds of torque toward the GameStop a mile away. Even right now it is disputed whether R Dubb actually turned his vehicle off. As he flung the door open and as we stepped inside my eyes had to re-adjust to the “gamer lighting conditons” GameStop utilizes. We gamers typically prefer cave-like environments and any good GameStop understands this concept.
Boss bowled his way passed the shelves of Pokémon toys and GameStop Exclusive Xûr Funko Pops straight to the register. A familiar face was already at the register…it was Doughnuts. Boss Baller, the Shot Caller, informed Doughnuts that the 4K UHD, 8-core Xbox One X pre-order had just begun.
According to the Sales Representative at GameStop, there was a limit of 10 Scorpio pre-orders PER STORE. Unlike a typical pre-order for a game, gamers had to put up a $100 (USD) deposit. WeirdosXxXx.com was there at 5:05PM and can account for two pre-orders. By the time Boss and Doughnuts finished up it was about quarter-after and the clerks reported that the system seemed to have shuttered momentarily due to the network volume.
If you haven’t pre-ordered what WeirdosXxXx is going to dub the XXbox (Say “Xbox One X” out loud a bunch of times…XXbox rolls off the tongue better), your chances of scoring one on Ebay or Amazon are possible but at high-cost. As of the submission of this article, there have already been sales as high as $699 USD. The retail price is $499.